It’s been just over a month since my last post, since my miscarriage. And I’m not sure if I have thanked everyone enough, I feel like I’ll never even be able to show just how incredibly thankful I am still and was at the moment for all the out pouring love and support I received after spilling my heart and emotions. So here is one more big huge THANK YOU!!!!
I don’t know what I expected out of that blog post, if anything. It was more just to set my own feelings free. I’ve made myself very public person on the internet since my @shophouseofmouse account and hiding such a huge thing felt wrong and after being absent I felt like I needed to explain more of myself. I never in a million years would have expected the outcome I got in return, it was BEYOND. First off, the amount of women that connected with me and shared their experiences with me; strangers, old friends, family and friends that have gone through it alone or in private that I had no idea had miscarried too! It was so overwhelming, in the best way. I was flooded with love and support and the feeling of being alone was suddenly so far away.
I did go into a dark, dark place after. I wanted to stay my sad place, because moving on from it felt even worse at the time. I wanted to continue to talk to everyone about it, read blogs, listen to pod casts – everything and anything on miscarriages, mourning and healing. Crying it all out just felt good and right. I pushed away visitors and fun for a while until I had the friends that didn’t let me and Brent that got us out of the house for a fancy lunch or museum date. Thats when I broke and myself came back out, just getting back to normal routines.
A week after, we planned our move, and I pushed myself to plan a girls trip to WDW for the first time with girl friends. The distraction is what really pulled me out of my dark and miserable feeling.
Brent and I are now happily moved into our new place and we still have all the hope for a family soon! I’m also back from the most incredible Walt Disney World, girls trip… that I will be post about really soon!!
Again, THANK YOU ALL for playing such a big, huge part in helping me get back to me, you were my rainbow!